ancient temple of bureaucracy

Needless to say, India is an old country. Foundations of this culture were first written down as far back as four millenia ago. I suppose the age has given its society more than enough time to develop a good deal of complexity. This is particularly evident in India's deeply rooted social stratification, consisting of over 3000 social classes. However, Team India has had a closer experience with another complex feature - unbelievably elaborated paperwork.

Despite the overwhelming chaos I've been mentioning, observing rules is not alien to Indians. Trains follow their schedule, the bus will not wait if you decide to take a last minute leak, prices are often not negotiable. This is because basically everything apart from buying street curios gets written down. With your name on it. And date and place of birth. The name of your father (I love this one). And passport number and validity; often visa number, type and validity; all of which I can write down in my sleep by now.

Checkin procedures at hotels are painfully lengthy, especially when you feel there's a big dump pushing its way round the last corner after a several-hour bus ride. But not just at hotels; tourist sites, railways - any place owned by the government will first push two big books at us. And internet cafes. I've seen signs blaming it on the threat of terrorism, probably due to the Kashmir conflict; anyway, I guess that controlling world's second most populous country is challenging so it takes a big and awkward apparatus. And a lot of paper.

I don't know what happens with all that paper, but I remember reading an article once about the state government of Bihar in eastern part of India. The offices were stacked with huge amounts of paper all the way to the ceiling, and the officials claimed they could find any document required. One of the piles consisted solely of requests by the same officials for a business trip to Delhi, and they even had an employee whose full-time job was to go through these requests and to decide about granting state-covered accommodation for the traveller.

Ok, no more second-hand stories, here's a genuine first-hand one about the previously appraised Indian Railways. We took a train from Vidisha to Jhansi, a 4-hour ride. I should point out that Indian Railways offer no less than seven different classes of travel. Now, since Vidisha is a small station, they were not equipped with a computerized booking system so the only tickets they claimed they could sell us were "general class" tickets - yep, that's the lowest one, I mean goats and chickens and everything. And some really nice people, I must say.

Anyway, we agreed that with our budget, a 4-hour sardine ride was an unnecessary adventure, so we tried to upgrade to second class on the train. There was no conductor for almost an hour, only a security lady who instructed us to simply board the second-class car and explain the situation. Which we did. Half an hour before Jhansi, the conductor finally came and kindly explained that the fine for doing this was 1300 rupees (roughly 25 euro), which was almost four times the price of the tickets. Complaining didn't work, returning to general class probably wouldn't either, so we paid. And, admitedly after a struggle, actually got a receipt.

To avoid future problems, Dan asked what the correct procedure was for upgrading to a higher class. The answer he got was that we were supposed to get out to the platform at one of the stations and hailed the conductor to let us in the second-class car. Of course, if we had a second-class ticket, there would be no problem upgrading it to any other class. Only the general class has no room for improvisation.

There was no time for further inquiries, and conductors on trains carrying 2500 people must be very busy men. But my next question would have been if the request was to be handed in on paper.

New Mumbai

As we arrived, we didn't have a plan at all because we had all had a notoriously busy week before the trip. So our first goal was pretty simple: to get a good rest and to get a general feeling about the place.

No adrenaline rushes - buying the train tickets made the day successful, and each meal we had gave it an extra spice. A visit to one of the city's many incredibly rich bazaars is adventurous enough, especially during a several hour heavy downpour. Included in the adventure were somewhat less expected, and uncalled for, "services", as for example a death wish we received from a baksheesh hunter trying viciously to sell us cigarettes, and head-on collision with a motorcycle. Both ended with minor harmless bruises, one mental, the other physical.

It was obviously another huge change when we called up a contact, Mr. Hegde, a businessman living and working in the suburbs. He sent a chauffer to fetch us downtown, and after driving through a jumble of dilapidated Victorian style houses, huge shanty-towns and occasional curiously narrow skyskrapers for an hour and a half, we reached what is called New Mumbai, an oriental-style high-rise area, housing another 2 million people. Slovenia is but a suburb.

The day was more on the easy side, including a good meal, an informative meeting with Mr. Hegde (it wasn't really that formal, but none of us remembers the guys name), a relatively comfortable ride through Mumbai and a drop-off at the train station. No threats, no accidents, and we were quite happy with that.

In a couple of hours or so, we will be experiencing another contrast - we're heading towards a supposedly very calm place called Sanchi, near Bhopal, 800 km outside Mumbai. We've already done the better part of the trip - a 14-hour ride in a second class sleeper, a somewhat crowded but surprisingly effective and insanely cheap service by Indian Railways. And, may I say, with cleaner toilets than Slovenian second class.

I am still unable to upload any images, so the adventures of the misterious Team India will be showcased at a later point. Bye!

surviving the first day

Not incidentally, our flight to India included a 22-hour stop in Helsinki. Culture shock addicts will understand the extra boost that a visit to one of the quietest, coldest and roomiest lands of the world gives to the kick of being engulfed by tropical heat and total chaos, the first wave of which comes at you full throttle in the form of a million taxi drivers and beggars. The contrast gives a good shake to all the body systems and senses.

Mumbai is arguably on top of the list of the most congested places on the planet. 16 million people are crowding on a peninsula the size of a middle sized European city, all somehow finding a living in the chaotic sprawl of streets where even taxi drivers have difficulties getting around. Chaotic but promising - Mumbai is India's economic capital, accounting for over a third of the national BDP. Whether it's computer software, a share of fame in Bollywood or scrapheap challenge in one of Mumbai's many slums, the city seems to fulfill just enough dreams to keep the river of immigrants, fed by nationwide periphery, flowing.

The chaos has obviously found it's way to the Indian cuisine as well - anyone unfamiliar with Indian food will be at a loss when looking at menus. Luckily, the staff at a random restaurant apparently knew better what we wanted and brought us a selection of food of unknown origin. All of it was nothing short of delicious and even the two of our party that seem to know their way about Indian food, licked their fingers. That would be right hand fingers of course, the left hand is used by Indians at other parts of the body… Let’s just say it’s a good thing to keep toilet paper in stock here.

Anyway, our first encounter with local food was very positive, I hope my gastro-intestinal response will be just as accepting.

Today we’re in for another dose of chaos – Indian Railways, the most complicated and intricate railway system in the world. Not surprisingly, it’s also the largest single employer on the planet. I guess we should be able to book some tickets there.

Alright folks, take care, and make sure you keep a healthy measure of chaos.

comments

Just fixed a problem with posting comments, now everyone should be able to participate.

Alright, we're hitting the road!
:)

packing

Here we go, folks, I'm off to India on Monday! It's a joint venture this time ;) , we are 4 buddies going on a 4-week trip... Strictly speaking.

Where in India? Well, here's a map briefing for the curious ones, everything's in there, we've planned it all in detail:

Well, that's Indian railways for you, they haven't seemed to be able to make a straight line... :)

Anyway, I'll try and update this regularly, shouldn't be a problem in a country running second in the world by the number of PCs. But don't go panicking on me if I don't, I'm probably out somewhere relaxing after a groovy snake bite or something ... ;)

Oh, and there'll be no funky bilingual posting this time, just plain old US English, it covers almost everybody on my list plus I've got travellmates who will helpe me out whith speling, I'm sure. ;) It could get a bit formal though, Indian English is ridiculously 19th century. I'll try to learn some, should be fun!

Of course you are welcome to post comments in any language you wish; multilingual ones are preferred. :)

OK, keep shining everyone, I'll be in touch!